NEW

I'm loving 2010. I keep saying that over and over again. Most new years never quite feel new to me. Same old baggage, sins, temptations, struggles, resolutions...blah. But this year is different. It's the year of the eagle. i'm soaring high and nohing, no one can clip my wings. The battles are still there, but the ammunition has changed. i have super amo! A secret source of strength and grace. Strength that is made perfect in my weakness. So that is the reason for my smile, for my joy! I'm thankful for the good and the bad. I'm thankful for my completeness. I'm thankful...for newness.

CRACK OF DAWN

I felt so warm, I see some rays of sun coming out...:-) Oh, I feel like singing a new song, like Miriam did...I know how she felt when she realised for the first time that the slavery was over!!!I hope by the end of the day I will know inexplicable joy...

IN THE MIDDLE

I don't know what to make of these mixed signals. Is the problem with me? Or with her? Or it has nothing to do with either of us? I feel like Pharaoh must have felt, caught in the middle of the Red Sea with his entire army... What have i got myself into? Something I don't understand. I remember the words of an old song I used to sing..."I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never sure..."

I am so sure this is for a life time, it feels so real, I know it was meant to be. I just don't know how, but I have faith that it will. I may be in the middle of the Red Sea but I'm with Moses, I'm not going to drown, I'm going to the Promised Land...I know I am. And I know that I placed Precious in a reed basket at the side of the River Nile. Victory is at hand.

LONELY

I never knew that it could hurt this much, missing someone who is right next to you. When you just want to say, "I need you" but your pride holds you back not to mention the fear of being pushed away. Nex time I decide to give my heart, please hit me on the head...HARD. Why cant people just say what they want from the beginning instead of allowing you to waste all these emotions....and if I don't stop now...I'll howl.

TRYING TO CLEAR THE CLUTTER

Going into the weekend not sure where my feelings lie...have i managed to clear the clutter? Every time I think I have...it finds its way back again. It is so frustrating and depressing. I don't know myself any more. I always had such clarity, now all I do is run round in circles like a headless chicken!!!! I am trying to understand the genesis of my dilemma. Its mighty convoluted though. Perhaps some things are not meant to be understood...just accepted.